Wednesday, April 14, 2010

bad bad blogger

For the few people who still follow this, Mea Culpa, I have been very bad.
Why..... this year in Florida was different for me. The dogs did make me crazier then in the past, the weather was cool to cold and wet, I felt at drift ( whatever that means) . I was glad to head home to all the creature comforts, a fenced in yard for the dog, and my own vehicle.
I still love living in the bus it is just the dogs seemed more demanding this year, or I was less able to deal with them. Or it could just be that I had alot more on my mind and was more anxious /stressed then last year. Need to deal with that.

So, I list my sources of angst> house still not sold, money a bit tighter then I would have expected, children continue to have multiple issues, I have yet to find my "groove".

So let's go to the last one, what is my groove ?
The first year of retirement I reveled in all the time I had, now I feel adrift with it. Funny feeling, I think I need some external structure, a part time job perhaps. I feel isolated, especially in Florida, where all the relationships are more then casual in an RV park. Filling my time with shuffle board doesn't do it for me. My sister suggested that I was too cerebral and that small talk irritates me. I am not sure that is totally true , makes me sound like a snob, however.....

I am not sure this answers the "why" of why I didn't blog, but I didn't want to let my frustration show and I had fewer moments of actual peace this year.

I did get to some trials with the dogs, and I found some other dog people so I could do some training, that was a plus. But I found the dogs so much more confining this year, the walking and trying to keep them quiet, and giving each one time out of the crate. Flee especially needed more time outside the crate and yet he is the one I can't have out with the others- difficult. But, the dogs did not buy the bus, we did, and I will just have to learn to cope.

Not a happy blogger but a truthful one. Goal, to find a part time job to give me some structure and an outlet, some external socialization and some silly money.
That being said I may volunteer at the Seaport which would also get me out of the house with others. I find my world getting a bit smaller then it should be, need to put myself out there.

Sorry for the woe is me blog. I will figure it out, thought we could take a few short trips with just 2 dogs, I know that would be more restful.

Need to get the house sold, I am between lives right now. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I buried St Joseph so long ago he is probably fossilized.

For my part, more blogs- upbeat ones at that.
thanks for hanging with me
Lindsay and her golden year crisis